Saturday, April 14, 2012

Attack of the Killer Loglines -- or -- B-Movies You Gotta See

Echo Bridge Entertainment has announced a couple projects in pre-production that caught my eye.

 'Ghost Shark'. With that title this movie will make money. Here's the pitch:
  • A ghost hunter and a sea captain must uncover the truth about the town’s dark past or fall victim to the Ghost Shark.

Next up: 'Paranormal Initiation' or Death by Syllables. With Morgan Fairchild! Logline:
  • Three sorority sisters find themselves trapped inside their haunted house and must uncover the secrets and escape before it’s too late.
Okay, put it this way, if you're going to watch B-flicks you could do a lot worse.

Got me to wondering what else Echo Bridge has in store. There's a lot of environmental and disaster themed movies.

'Miami Magma' (Love that title):
  • A prodigy volcanologist and her sister attempt to blow the whistle on an illegal oil drilling scheme before it sets off the eruption of a super-volcano directly beneath Miami.
Really, how do you become a prodigy volcanologist? Who tags some young kid with that label? And, what are the signs a kid may be a prodigy volcanologist? Just what do you look for in your 10 year old boy or girl that would indicate they may have what it takes to be a superstar volcanologist when they grow up?

That's right. Spiders, a horror movie staple + earthquakes, must-have B-movie fodder = 'Arachnoquake':
  • After earthquakes ravage a small town, dozens of locals fall victim to a previously unknown species of deadly albino spiders. Despite their best efforts, spiders swarm out of the earthquake opened fissures and infest the town.
Seriously, that is good. I like this. I may actually watch this one.

Another earthquake-related plot, 'Aftershock'. Get this:
  • A TV personality and his crew must find a way to stop the largest earthquake the world has ever seen.
How, exactly, does one stop an earthquake? And, if said quake has yet to happen how do you know it will be the largest the world has ever seen? Guess you gotta watch the movie to find out. Yes?

'Tornado Warning'. I love this one. Love:
  • Green-tinted tornadoes barrel through a small town and the locals must dodge shadowy government forces to alert the public and stop an alien invasion.
This makes me want to watch nothing but B-movies. You can hide from reality inside this one.

 'Weather Wars'. Very similar to 'Tornado Warning' but with a twist (sorry):
  • After the government pulls funding for his project, scientist Marcus Grange, seeks revenge by controlling the weather and causing devastation to any that stand in his way. Now it is up to two estranged brothers to stop their father's evil reign of using weather weapons to destroy Washington D.C.

'Ghostquake'. That poster isn't half bad. With Danny Trejo, which makes it must-see for a lot of us:
  • When an earthquake opens a time capsule, the spirits of five vengeful ghosts are unleashed and it takes the ultimate sacrifice to make them disappear for good.

'Ice Comets'. Another pretty good poster:
  • A mysterious explosion in space sends ice comets plummeting toward Earth and according to mythology will bring about the end of the world.  

'Tasmanian Devils'. With Apolo Ohno. Yeah, really. He's in this:
  • A group of extreme sports enthusiasts set out on an adventure and are attacked by a pack of Tasmanian devils who escaped from a team of researchers after their plane crashes in the forest. 


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