This is the opening of a new script I'm putting together.
'ADVENTURE LAND' Alan 'Marcy' Green
EXT. HIGHWAY - LATE AFTERNOON
A car drives. Its long shadow flits over roadside brush. INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS Four passengers. CORY: the pseudo jock, driving and DELILLA: the pseudo princess, next to him. STUDDLE: the tormented artist, and CLOSSY: the shy intellectual in the back. STUDDLE We're in the middle of nowhere. CORY Brilliant. You figured that out. Delilla changes the radio from country to 80's pop. The signal is weak. She goes back to polishing her toenails. CORY You're the one with the map. Where the fuck are we? Studdle looks at a printout of a Google map. There is a railroad track, a road, and a river, among other features. STUDDLE We passed it. CORY No we didn't. We didn't pass a road. They cross a bridge. STUDDLE Okay this is the river, right? Clossy takes the map. CLOSSY He's right. Turn around. Cory does his best pissed off look (not convincing) and wheels the car around, goes back across the bridge. MOMENTS LATER They are stopped on the dirt shoulder. INSERT MAP. CLOSSY The bridge is behind us. We're headed south. (points to a train going by in distance) That's right here. She points to railroad tracks on the map. (ON THE MAP) The road is halfway between the bridge and railroad. CLOSSY The road should be here. CORY It ain't here. I don't see a fucking road. DELILLA I'm hot. CORY (smarmy) You are hot, baby. So hot! Ooooh baby! Can I touch you? Ouch! DELILLA (over) Shut up. You're an idiot. Clossy and Studdle exchange a look -- 'Cory's an ass'. CORY How do you know we're headed south? CLOSSY I just know. That way is south. We're going that way. Therefore, we're going south. CORY (turns radio down) Maybe we're pointed north. You're looking at the map wrong. CLOSSY If we were going north, the road would be on this side... (points right) Instead of that side. (points left) She and Studdle wait for the obvious to sink in. STUDDLE Cory, there's no road. CORY Studdle, I see that. CLOSSY We're going south, and. There's. No. Road. STUDDLE Let's go back to that town. CORY What town? That intersection? Studdle shrugs. CORY Okay, Clossy. You're the navigator. Do we go back to town or keep looking? CLOSSY I'm hungry. It's getting dark. DELILLA Me too. Cory sees he's outnumbered, sighs, turns around in his seat and drops it in gear. Delilla turns the radio back up. STUDDLE (whispers, to Clossy) You're sooo hot! CLOSSY (bad soap opera acting) So are yooouu! The red Acura MDX speeds off, pushed too hard on the dirt, the tires squeal as it gains footing on the road. EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - DUSK The Acura pulls up in a cloud of dust. They get out. It's standard middle-of-nowhere fare. Doubtful, they go in. INT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - CONTINUOUS They enter. Dark, typical. CORY (sniffs air) What brand of second-hand hick is that? Studdle indicates Cory put a lid on it. CORY I'll get a pitcher. He heads for the bar, the others find a table. TABLE They sit. Clossy opens a laptop. DELILLA Forget it. CLOSSY Dead. INSERT SCREEN: THE FIREFOX BROWSER. Warning: Server Not Found...cannot connect to Internet...Internet not available. DELILLA This place smells. CLOSSY Is that pee or old beer? STUDDLE You get used to it after a couple decades. Delilla sees someone at the bar. DELILLA Oh my god! Clossy, look! Clossy and Studdle look. At the bar is a WOMAN. She is maybe 50, trim, wearing a
shabby brown dress that advertises her wrinkled breasts proudly.
Her face is heavily made up. Severely. Her lips are smeared with lipstick that goes well outside the lines. Her eyelids are glopped with black liner. Cheeks rouged to the point of special effect. All on a foundation of white powder. She is a caricature of a whore. The kids' jaws drop. DELILLA That is so sad. CLOSSY Tragic. STUDDLE Green Acres gone bad. That's severe collateral damage. The woman turns and looks at them. Delilla chokes back laughter and looks away. Studdle covers his face, Clossy covers her mouth and snickers. They all study the surface of the table. STUDDLE No! CLOSSY Oh, that is embarrassing! The woman's eyes are filled with pain -- old, worn down, but deep. She stares squarely at the kids as if sizing them up. She doesn't seem crazy or unaware of how she looks, and she clings to a thread of dignity. Cory arrives with a pitcher of beer, everyone grabs a glass. CORY You get online? Delilla grabs Cory's hand. DELILLA Cory. Look! Cory sits. CORY What? They point toward the bar. Cory looks. CORY What?! They look. The woman is gone. DELILLA There was this freaky woman. STUDDLE You missed it, dude. DELILLA Yeah, she had all this makeup, and was...so... CORY (over) Okay, okay! Whatever. (Clossy) You get online? CLOSSY No wi-fi. But... (tada!) I copied the page for 'offline use' before we left civilization. Impressed, Cory looks at Studdle. STUDDLE She's like that. INSERT LAPTOP SCREEN: website for 'Adventure Land', a ranch that hosts fishing and hunting trips. Also featured is horseback riding, tennis, hiking, and camping. The site's design is rough -- fonts don't match, pictures are missing, it's plain. There is a Google map on the website. STUDDLE 'Adventure Land'. There's a dumb name. DELILLA I like it. 'Adventure'. Who doesn't want an adventure. CLOSSY It is pretty dumb. CORY It's the best we could afford. Clossy compares it to the printed map. CLOSSY The map's right. There's supposed to be a road between the bridge and the railroad tracks. (turns it to Studdle) See? INSERT WEBSITE MAP: road between the bridge and railroad tracks. Graphics for the road look a bit rough, like it might have been drawn by hand. STUDDLE Should be. But, it's not. CORY What's the number? Clossy turns the laptop so Cory can see the screen. THE SCREEN: a phone number -- it's not toll-free. CORY (with a flourish) I'll take care of everything. Everyone scoffs. Cory lifts the cell phone to his ear. CORY Shit. DELILLA No wi-fi, no cell. STUDDLE Welcome to the eighties. CLOSSY They had cell phones in the eighties. STUDDLE Yeah. But were they like a foot long with those antennas... DELILLA Yeah, they weighed like, ten pounds. Cory presses a couple buttons, shakes the phone, no dice. They see a pay phone. CORY Anybody know how to use one of those? Clossy writes the number on a napkin and slides it to Cory. STUDDLE They're voice activated. You yell the number and it dials automatically-- CORY (over) --Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. DELILLA There's a juke box. Everyone digs into their pockets. CHANGE IS DUMPED ONTO THE SCARRED WOOD TABLE. MOMENTS LATER Delilla feeds quarters into the jukebox then makes a selection. Studdle jams quarters in the pool table. Cory pumps a quarter in the phone and dials. Rock music starts. Clossy racks the pool balls. Studdle breaks -- very poorly. MOMENTS LATER Clossy and Studdle haven't sunk any balls. Delilla approaches swaying to the music. She's sexy and graceful - a real prize. In b.g. Cory talks on the pay phone. DELILLA (takes cue from Clossy) Give me that. I'll show you how it's done. CLOSSY (friendly) Bitch. PHONE CORY Yeah, we're at this tavern. It's -- VOICE ON PHONE (over) Sure. Sure. I know where that's at. CORY Oh, yeah?! Great! POOL TABLE Delilla lines up a shot. DELILLA Six in the corner. She shoots, the six ball goes in the corner. She gloats. Clossy shoots a mean grin. Studdle loves it. Cory arrives. STUDDLE Well? CORY (grabbing a cue) Someone's coming to get us. (relief all around) This happens a lot. Even the locals can't find this place...'Adventure Land'...it's too far out. DELILLA Great! CLOSSY So, it's adventure time. CORY Don't resorts usually have a 1-800 number? DELILLA Three in the side. STUDDLE How long will it be? CORY The guy said a few minutes. 'Awesome'. Delilla lines up and strokes the cue ball smartly. The three ball bounces off a rail and goes into the side pocket. She dances to the music smiling ear to ear. The others roll their eyes. 'Lucky'. She plays air guitar. EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - DUSK There is a clear sky. On the horizon, backlighting the mountains, is the last rosy hue of sunset. EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT A pickup truck pulls off the road and parks. A man gets out of the truck and goes into the tavern. INT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT The gang is back at the table, waiting. A MAN enters. He is JOHN, in his 50's, in good shape for his age, deeply tanned, a square-looking guy whose word you would figure you could take at face value. John spots the kids and his face lights up. He heads toward the table. The kids see him and stand. JOHN Hi there. Cory? CORY That's me. JOHN Sorry you all got lost. It's easy to do out here. CORY Yeah. JOHN Hope you haven't been waiting too long. STUDDLE Just a few minutes. DELILLA We played pool. JOHN That's real good. Real good. My name's John. I'm one of the hunting guides out at Adventure Land. I'll show you all how to get out there. CLOSSY We think the map might be wrong. We followed it, but... JOHN Well, that's understandable. There's been some land reclamation around here. Preservationists. (pests, you understand?) Some of the roads have been replanted with trees and they built new roads where they supposedly have less impact on wildlife. Not that I understand any of that, mind you. (polite smiles, chuckles) Anyway. You all ready to roll? CORY Yeah! Let's roll! JOHN We'll get you settled in and good and rested tonight. Get a early start tomorrow. (everyone nods) My truck's out here. You want to follow me? They leave. EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT They walk to the cars. JOHN Let me guess. (points to Acura) That one is yours. CORY Yeah. How'd you know? JOHN Folks around here don't drive those. DELILLA Yeah. Didn't you know that? STUDDLE Fancy pants city boy. JOHN (points to pickup) This is mine. I'll pull up to the road and wait for you all. They agree and thank him. John gets in the truck, starts it. The kids get in the Acura. Cory starts it and wheels around behind John, who is waiting at the road. John waves out his window, then pulls out. Cory follows. DELILLA (cheeky) Well. Isn't this fun! The others follow suit. CLOSSY, STUDDLE, CORY Oh! Yes! I'm so excited!! I'm all a quiver! EXT. ROAD - NIGHT The two cars drive. The kids' attitude has dried out. DELILLA How far is this place? STUDDLE (Cory) We been following this guy for miles. You said it was a few minutes away. CORY (over) I didn't-- I did not say that! I said he said he was a few minutes away. That, he would meet us in a few minutes. I don't know how far this place is. Clossy looks out the window. There isn't a light anywhere. CLOSSY Adventure Land must be in the middle of nowhere. A chill falls over the others. STUDDLE Yeah... The truck's turn indicator comes on. CORY Okay, okay! Here we go. We're here! This is it! Finally... The truck slows and pulls off the road onto a wide trail that's been used by cars. The Acura stops on the road. STUDDLE What the fuck. DELILLA Where's he going? Within a few seconds the truck's tail lights are obscured by brush. CLOSSY That's a road? CORY He said they were making new ones, or something. CLOSSY Okay. That's a road under construction? STUDDLE We're going to lose him, man! DELILLA I don't like this. It's creepy. CLOSSY This does qualify as creepy. Definitely. The truck stops, waiting. Its taillights mostly obscured by brush. The kids are on edge. CORY Well? You want to turn back. The notion of actually turning back sobers the kids. They muster a somewhat false courage. STUDDLE Dude. Go! He's not going to wait forever. DELILLA Yeah. Go! CLOSSY Chicken shit! CORY You guys wanted an adventure. Cory sighs and follows the truck.