The 'Inception' Conspiracy. The Dream May Not be Real.

A while back David Poland posted a couple pieces about industry watchers who call a movie a flop after it opens poorly. He really (really) hates that. In case you're not inclined to read them they boil down to: 'Don't call a movie a failure because it fails at the box office in its opening weekend. Wait a while. Count the international box office. Give it a chance. If you can't do that, you may be a moron'.

I commented about his stance on the issue in a piece called 'Logic: By Poland'.

Poland's crusade du jour concerns the overwhelming positive critical response to Christopher Nolan's 'Inception'. The movie is being called 'Kubrickian'. (I prefer the more poetic Kubrick-esque. Perhaps, I'll write a slash-and-burn piece about people who choose the somewhat clunky 'Kubrickian'. It irks me so). The gushing goes on and on, reaching a high-point with the use of that most elusive of descriptions: 'Masterpiece'. This is the term Poland seems to take exception to the most.
 
He says:

"I'm sure that Inception will be THE studio movie for adults this summer... but when everyone starts drooling like this, I get nervous."

and

"I would love EVERYONE to be right... EVERYONE almost never is."

He's getting nervous. On edge. All the glowing reviews have made him...wary. So much so he has seen fit to warn us there is the possibility 'Inception' will be great, but not a masterpiece. Tremendous, but not awe inspiring. Really fun and entertaining, but (possibly) just a tad flawed. A good movie, but certainly not of the celestial quality critics would have us believe.

As is his wont, Poland inserts an incendiary remark here and there to establish for the record just who is making such grandiose declarations about the quality of 'Inception'. This is my favorite:

I don't know what it is about critics and film writers who are now critics because every fucking person who ever had an opinion about a movie is now a critic...

Of course, he is quick to diffuse any perceived sleight with "I'm not making a personal attack..."

So, it would seem, the critics who have labeled 'Inception' a masterpiece are, simply, not qualified to do so, in Mr. Poland's estimation (although this is not to be construed as an attack, personal or otherwise). At least some of them must be mistaken. (They must)! Let's face it. If the movie indeed turns out to be recognized as a masterpiece (say, perhaps ten or twenty years hence), those critics who have already identified as such, well, just got lucky.

Furthermore, critics have issued their response to 'Inception' in a haphazard manner without regard for, or even awareness of, their own stupidity and lack of credibility (that's not an attack, guys).

Many of them, he intimates, could not be trusted to properly judge the quality of a ham sandwich (no attack here, folks). Not only that, but their high opinion is cause for alarm. It makes David...nervous, and it should make us nervous as well.

Glad to hear it. I'll let Poland bring home the point:

It's really simple. When EVERYONE agrees... that which they agree on is almost always suspect. It's true of EVERYONE being negative or positive.

Thanks for making it (really) simple for us. Let's review Poland's earlier point (the one about bad box office): Despite that everyone feels a movie will be a financial failure because it tanks in its opening weekend, it may not be -- let's wait and see. Poland's current contention about the perceived quality of 'Inception' bears a striking resemblance: Despite that everyone feels the movie is great, a masterpiece, etc., it might not be -- let's wait and see.

So then. There is the possibility that all the critics are not correct, spot on, in their rash decision to praise 'Inception' so highly. The movie may be good but, really, I mean come on, it can't be that good.

Masterpiece, indeed! We may, upon proper reflection and analysis, perhaps decades from now, come to realize 'Inception' is not a masterpiece after all, but rather, simply a really really really good movie that everyone enjoys (but, again, NOT a masterpiece).

Maybe, just maybe, the dream isn't real. If EVERYONE could only agree with that, we'll all be able to rest easier.

We get it, David. Keep up the good work.