I'm Sorry. Did You Say 'Yuck'?

Ann Hornaday's review of 'Splice' is so negative it's funny:

The yuck factor spins off the charts in "Splice," a thoroughly repulsive science fiction-horror flick that slicks up its B-movie tawdriness with high-gloss production values and two otherwise classy stars.

and

It's difficult to know who the filmmakers hold in more contempt in this goopy, gory, grotesque exercise: the characters or the audience. Either way you slice or dice it, you get the same result: Yuck.

No stars R. At area theaters. Contains disturbing elements, including strong sexuality, nudity, sci-fi violence and profanity.

No stars? None? Wow. She said it's 'yucky'. That settles it.

Doesn't the first sentence serve only to entice the target audience? Lemme show you what I mean with some editing of Hornaday's lashings:

The yuck factor spins off the charts!!

Thoroughly repulsive science fiction-horror!!!

...B-movie tawdriness with high-gloss production values!!!!

Dude! I'm so there!!!!!!

Apologies to Ms. Hornaday. One more observation though, then I'll move on. Using the term 'repulsive sci-fi horror' in a review is a bit cockeyed. Isn't it? Horror movies need to be repulsive on some level. Don't they? It's a requirement of the genre. Don't you think? Horror = repulsive. Yes?

I mean, what director or writer worth their salt wants to produce horror that's 'somewhat off-putting', or 'a tad politically incorrect'? Repulsive is baseline for horror movies. The audience is supposed to squirm in their seats. They are supposed to be repulsed by what they see.

I know, I nitpick. Can't help it.

Anyway. Have to say -- this is a good example of an ineffective review. Sure, it may give pause to certain people but they weren't planning to see the movie anyway. For these folks a negative review only reinforces the prejudice they held against the material in the first place. And, those horror/sci-fi fans planning to see 'Splice' won't read reviews, they'll just watch the trailers, glom the posters, and cruise the web for buzz.

I do like this objective bit from Hornaday though:

"Splice" trots out every tired plot trick and risibly sudden reverse ("You never told me you had a farm!") in the how-not-to-write-a-screenplay book.

However, there is one little problem with this observation. Risible reveals (it is a reveal, yes? Not a reversal) are not a concern for the target audience. In this case the line would have to be 'You never told me you had a working X-Wing fighter' before the reveal might be considered strange or laughable by fans of the genre.

Forgive me, but this write-up trots out some tricks from the how-not-to-write-a-movie-review book.

To read the rest of Hornaday's write-up. Peace, out.