I like this passage from Glenn Kenny's review of 'The Expendables':
Some critics have complained, as critics will, that the picture's action sequences lack spatial coherency, which is a wonky way of saying that you can't necessarily tell who's kicking the living hell out of whom in a given scene. This does tend to be the case, but one should add that this is only really a problem when the viewer actually really cares about which character is going to walk away from the fight, a state of affairs that the film rather neatly, albeit perhaps inadvertently, sidesteps.
I also like this passage from Kenny's intro to his review of 'The Expendables':
...he had just had a scrotum reduction procedure. Which procedure he was describing to Gilliam, not only loudly, but in not insubstantial detail. Gilliam listened attentively, with that raised-eyebrow look of perpetual surprise/amusement that you sometimes see on him in photos. Eventually the actor got around to explaining just why he had gotten a scrotum reduction procedure: "I just got tired of how every time I would sit down one of my balls would slide up the crack of my ass."