Have the producers of the franchise, after multiple tortuous (very sawry) viewings of the final cut (sawry, horribly so) realized that number VII is so bad, so void of dramatic value, so paper-thin in its excuse for even existing, it will only appeal the most narrow slice (sawry, I really mean it) of the population? Is the promise that 'traps will come to life' necessary in order to snare (Ooph. Sawry!) an audience which, after the previous seven movies in the series, have become so inured to horrible acts of torture that only the most gruesome of notions will get them to the theater for the latest gore-fest?
The title itself suggests acts of torture so vile that no (human) actor would want to be associated with them. In 'Saw VII', the cutting and tearing of victims may be so grisly and pointless that a contraption of springs and metal must be made to be the villain, the responsible party. Perhaps, the screenplay is so vapid that the movie is basically without plot, leaving only a collection of strung-together scenes in which people are horribly mutilated. What person would want to portray the antagonist in such a spectacle? Perhaps nobody stepped up. Solution: just have the friggin traps come to life and torture people of their own volition. Now, who's to blame? Nobody!
How will the prospective movie-goer react? 'Traps with sharp metal teeth that spring to life and chase down their victims and kill them...SLOWLY! Cool! I'm so there!'
When admonished for enjoying the movie, fans will be able to defend their enthusiasm with a response such as, 'Dude. They're just traps killing people. It's not like a person is responsible. Ew! That would be sick!'
This title (and the trend it may represent the beginning of) seems desperate and more than a bit disturbing. What's next? How do you continue to appeal to people when the gore in movies has already numbed them into a horror-induced coma? Simple. You ramp things up beyond any previously known level of slice-em dice-em torture porn, then dangle a juicy lurid title in front of mindless fans seeking blood-soaked cinema. They won't be able to resist.
And, what if your movies don't really have a story anymore? What if they're just a series of gory clips sewn together? Doesn't matter! The audience won't be able to tell the difference anymore!
Allow me to demonstrate the proper technique. For 'Saw VIII' you might go with the subtitle: Just a Bunch of Gore. They'll love that. No pesky plotlines to think about.
For 'Saw IX' I recommend the very literal: We Torture, You Pay to Watch. Won't be an empty seat in the theater.
For the landmark tenth movie in the series you might try: 'Saw X. Now with No Story at All! Just People Screaming in Horrible Pain with No Hope of Escape, Nothing That Makes any Sense, and No Redeeming Value Whatsoever.' The marketing spiel might be: Roman numeral X, so gross it's rated X. Laugh if you feel like it -- Nobody will care! It'll be standing-room only.
The theater could sell life insurance in the lobby. There could be tie-ins like booths where you could call home for free because 'It might be your last chance'. Lawyers in the lobby could create last wills and testaments.
Before the movie starts, couples might turn to each other and, while holding hands, munching popcorn, and wiping tears away, promise one another that if one of them is tonight's victim the other will, after an appropriate period of mourning, find the courage to go on, seek love, and start dating once again.
And so, the gore in movies evolves. Audiences become more numb. Society marches onward. Hopefully, this will be the last thing I'll feel compelled to say about the 'Saw' franchise. Then again, my next commentary may be more horrible than anything I've yet written. MUAHAHAHA!
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