The Atlantic graces us with their encyclopedic guide to 'How to Deliver the Perfect Acceptance Speech'. For instance:
Zellweger deserves credit for at least explaining why each person she lists is important in her life (extra credit for an unexpected shout out to Tom Cruise for teaching her how to be classy), but the speech still too closely resembles a laundry list. The best "thank yous" contain heartfelt anecdotes, like Reese Witherspoon in 2006.
Make 'em cry like Sandra Bullock, say something substantial like Halle Berry, go out with a strong opening line -- with video examples of each transgression, and/or well-executed speech. Fun.