Sunday, April 08, 2007

The Industry Is Going To The Dogs

Underdog

My sources tell me that 'Underdog' was originally planned as a vehicle for Tom Cruise (or possibly Tom Hanks, I can't remember and I lost my notes). Tom was to play a man with super powers who stops crime and saves people, however his fee was far too high and the lead ended up going to a dog instead. That really burns my hide.

Firehouse Dog

'Firehouse Dog' was supposed to be toplined by Bruce Willis and was going to be called 'Firefighter 55' (like on the helmet). Willis was to play a firefighter that overcomes his fear of fire and becomes a hero. However, Willis' fee was way too high and the part ended up going to a dog instead. That really critches my mangos. I like Willis, but because his fee is so high I have to watch this action movie with a dog in the lead instead of Bruce.

This is turning into an epidemic. How many times must we see perfectly good human roles go to dogs because of disputes over fees? I just don't get it. Do you? Cause, I don't. Not even a little.

Year of the dog

This one really mushes my potatoes. Ben Stiller was set to play opposite Molly Shannon in 'Year of the Dog', a heartrending drama about a woman (Shannon) whose boyfriend (Stiller) dies, forcing the woman (Shannon) to move on to new relationships. However, the funny man's (Stiller's) fee was too high and the part ended up going to (that's right) a dog! Why do all these big stars insist on (very) high fees? It just ruins it for everyone. That really crunches my tong-tongs.

On the flip side, this movie looks great (I'm betting Stiller is kicking himself now -- ha ha). 'Year of the Dog' will do some nice business. Shannon carries the movie with Peter Sarsgaard, John C. Reilly, and Laura Dern. Trailer looks great. Props to Shannon and shame on Stiller (money-grubbing fool).

Oh, and a big 'Thank You' to my reliable insider sources for the heads up on this disturbing trend in movie casting. You guys are great. I mean that.

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